Growing up Catholic, I had a hard time reconciling God’s negative views regarding homosexuality “love” with plain ol’ love. I understand the sex and lust aspects of homosexuality being unforgiven, but even that is personal and private and should not be susceptible to public law.
My whole spiritual argument went something like this: Why would a God – a supposed generous figment – create me only to have me shunned for being a homosexual?
I did have a gay friend – younger than I, who’s attempt to seduce me ended with me laughing – who taught me. I explained to him my argument and that because of the argument I had a hard time believing in a God at all. My friend told me:
I had only to ask God to reveal himself to me and he would.
My friend went on to tell me that he had proof of his God’s existence: flowers. He went on to explain that no one, but a God, could make something as beautiful as a flower. This is what Alcoholics Anonymous expounds in Step Three: “God as we understood Him.”
On the way home from visiting my friend, I asked God while driving on Interstate 10 West, at night, in the rain to reveal himself to me so that I might know that he was actually there watching over me and prove he existed. All of a sudden a loving warmness feeling began from my inside out and my eyes began to water as if I was going to cry. This worried me because I was driving, but at the same time I felt safe in know that a God does exist.
My proof continues to be the flowers to which I have grown so much more familiar with, learning their binomial names. Eschscholzia californica is named for my home state of California. At the reasonable cost of USD $10.00, I would love to go to the California Poppy Festival, and I am currently planning arrangements.